New Rant...Fuck you Scott Baio
I love shitty VH1 celeb-reality shows and all my friends know it, and ya know what? I don't give a damn if they make fun of me for it. VH1 provides me with hours of entertainment. Whether it be laughing at washed up drug addicted celebrities, dirty drunk rocker skanks fighting, or dirty drunk sistah's fighting. Right now we've got Rock of Love 2 with Brett Michaels on Sunday nights, Flavor of Love 3 on Monday nights (yes there's a third) and Dr. Drew's celebrity rehab on Thursday nights. I would like to bust out Beckified's Shit-o-meter...The scale goes as follows...
5 Shits: Fucking badass show full of skanky ridiculousness
4 Shits: Pretty humorous, just a bunch of skanks
3 Shits: Mediocre celeb(s), dash of skank, hint of funny
2 Shits: You wasted an hour of my life that could have gone to Tetris
1 Shit: Scott Baio. which is the lowest denominator on earth.
Rock of Love 2: With Brett Michaels 4 Shits
Brett Michaels, I never listened to your music but you are a pretty funny old guy. Brett goes on to make out with every single girl by the end of the first show. Then for every challenge he some how gets all the girls to exploit themselves and do something skanky: pose for pinups, underwear football etc. etc. Brett makes hilarious comments in the interview room when he's by himself, mostly about how he wasn't listening to so and so talk, he was busy looking at her boobs. Good stuff. Lots of skanks being bitchy and fighting, but some of them are a little old and too rocker for my liking. Overall good times, I give you 4 shits.
My Fair Brady: Maybe Baby? 2 Shits
Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry. Who you ask? Exactly. Christopher Knight was on the Brady Bunch and....well....if you want to count an old VH1 show The Surreal Life. (which was gold). Adrianne Curry was on America's Next Top Model and the same Surreal Life as Christopher, hence how they met. I mean they're like 25 years apart it's not like they met at a P-Diddy party. You two suck. Chris has got an anger problem which doesn't lead to as much comedy as you might think, he doesn't even hit her!! Adrianne, you're a mongoloid, however you do get naked alot and you like girls. The show smells as bad as Strange Love, but worse. Here's some advice for the two of you, don't have a kid, please for the love of God don't let that child suffer as much as us.
Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant 1 Shit
I fucking hate you Scott Baio, more than Daniel Baldwin, more than Roger Clemens and equally the amount to Elisha Manning. You are a no talent ass clown who doesn't get work. You have a shitty reality tv show on VH1 that NOONE EVEN WATCHES. This should be a sign that you really have no business being in the entertainment industry. This, believe it or not, is the sequel to his first VH1 show Scott Baio is 45 and Single....how it didn't remain like that is beyond me. My vote is rape. SO, now he is engaged and his fiancee is having a baby. I feel awful for this kid, Baio should let Chris Knight and Adrianne adopt it before he takes care of it.
Full of awful jokes, awful writing, too much Scott, not enough hot wife, no skanks, no drunk fighting....waste of time. (side note I only saw the finale episode today while doing homework and I wanted to stab him)
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew 5 Shits
Now this is the Mecca of crappy reality shows. First of all, we have Dr. Drew Pinsky from Loveline who is a board certified drug and addiction medicine badass. Doesn't take shit from anyone, smart guy, and has a good sense of humor. Anyways, its a reality show that takes place in a rehab center with a bunch of washed up celebs which can be found here, such as; Jaimee Foxworth, Seth "Shifty" Binzer, Ricco Rodriguez, Daniel Baldwin, Brigitte Nielsen, Chyna Doll, Mary Carey, and Jeff Conaway. These celebs deal with addiction problems to painkillers, alcohol, marijuana, crack, cocaine, among I'm sure a ton of other things!!
This show has it all, instead of drunk people fighting, it's sober porn star alcoholics fighting against sober UFC coke heads!! Then not to mention three of the women have done some sort of porn, so you got your skanks right there. Gooooood times. Definately will not miss this show on Thursday nights for anything. Alright, maybe free mcdonalds and captain morgan....but not most things.
Free Radio: You're not worth a rating on the shit-o-meter, because I haven't seen you and you don't look the least bit funny.
Salt-N-Pepa 2: Saw one episode, and god you suck. How'd you get a second season. Pepa's nose looks more carved up than a jack-o-lantern.
Flavor of Love 3 4 Shits
My man Flava Flav is back "looking for love" in this third season of Flavor of Love. The girls are just as ghetto, just as sleazy, and just as drunk. And Flav is just as creepy/ retarded. You should know that in this show Flav is trying to find his true love. The most entertaining parts of the show aren't usually when Flav is around. The hilarity comes from when all the drunk queens are getting in eachother's grills spouting off words I've never heard before. Nothing really more I can say about this show, other than it is also a must watch. But seriously, how the fuck does Flav have 7 kids already? A) The women were all blind B) The women wanted the $$.
.... I'll go with B.
Feel free to leave comments.
BN
5 Shits: Fucking badass show full of skanky ridiculousness
4 Shits: Pretty humorous, just a bunch of skanks
3 Shits: Mediocre celeb(s), dash of skank, hint of funny
2 Shits: You wasted an hour of my life that could have gone to Tetris
1 Shit: Scott Baio. which is the lowest denominator on earth.
Rock of Love 2: With Brett Michaels 4 Shits
Brett Michaels, I never listened to your music but you are a pretty funny old guy. Brett goes on to make out with every single girl by the end of the first show. Then for every challenge he some how gets all the girls to exploit themselves and do something skanky: pose for pinups, underwear football etc. etc. Brett makes hilarious comments in the interview room when he's by himself, mostly about how he wasn't listening to so and so talk, he was busy looking at her boobs. Good stuff. Lots of skanks being bitchy and fighting, but some of them are a little old and too rocker for my liking. Overall good times, I give you 4 shits.
My Fair Brady: Maybe Baby? 2 Shits
Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry. Who you ask? Exactly. Christopher Knight was on the Brady Bunch and....well....if you want to count an old VH1 show The Surreal Life. (which was gold). Adrianne Curry was on America's Next Top Model and the same Surreal Life as Christopher, hence how they met. I mean they're like 25 years apart it's not like they met at a P-Diddy party. You two suck. Chris has got an anger problem which doesn't lead to as much comedy as you might think, he doesn't even hit her!! Adrianne, you're a mongoloid, however you do get naked alot and you like girls. The show smells as bad as Strange Love, but worse. Here's some advice for the two of you, don't have a kid, please for the love of God don't let that child suffer as much as us.
Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant 1 Shit
I fucking hate you Scott Baio, more than Daniel Baldwin, more than Roger Clemens and equally the amount to Elisha Manning. You are a no talent ass clown who doesn't get work. You have a shitty reality tv show on VH1 that NOONE EVEN WATCHES. This should be a sign that you really have no business being in the entertainment industry. This, believe it or not, is the sequel to his first VH1 show Scott Baio is 45 and Single....how it didn't remain like that is beyond me. My vote is rape. SO, now he is engaged and his fiancee is having a baby. I feel awful for this kid, Baio should let Chris Knight and Adrianne adopt it before he takes care of it.
Full of awful jokes, awful writing, too much Scott, not enough hot wife, no skanks, no drunk fighting....waste of time. (side note I only saw the finale episode today while doing homework and I wanted to stab him)
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew 5 Shits
Now this is the Mecca of crappy reality shows. First of all, we have Dr. Drew Pinsky from Loveline who is a board certified drug and addiction medicine badass. Doesn't take shit from anyone, smart guy, and has a good sense of humor. Anyways, its a reality show that takes place in a rehab center with a bunch of washed up celebs which can be found here, such as; Jaimee Foxworth, Seth "Shifty" Binzer, Ricco Rodriguez, Daniel Baldwin, Brigitte Nielsen, Chyna Doll, Mary Carey, and Jeff Conaway. These celebs deal with addiction problems to painkillers, alcohol, marijuana, crack, cocaine, among I'm sure a ton of other things!!
This show has it all, instead of drunk people fighting, it's sober porn star alcoholics fighting against sober UFC coke heads!! Then not to mention three of the women have done some sort of porn, so you got your skanks right there. Gooooood times. Definately will not miss this show on Thursday nights for anything. Alright, maybe free mcdonalds and captain morgan....but not most things.
Free Radio: You're not worth a rating on the shit-o-meter, because I haven't seen you and you don't look the least bit funny.
Salt-N-Pepa 2: Saw one episode, and god you suck. How'd you get a second season. Pepa's nose looks more carved up than a jack-o-lantern.
Flavor of Love 3 4 Shits
My man Flava Flav is back "looking for love" in this third season of Flavor of Love. The girls are just as ghetto, just as sleazy, and just as drunk. And Flav is just as creepy/ retarded. You should know that in this show Flav is trying to find his true love. The most entertaining parts of the show aren't usually when Flav is around. The hilarity comes from when all the drunk queens are getting in eachother's grills spouting off words I've never heard before. Nothing really more I can say about this show, other than it is also a must watch. But seriously, how the fuck does Flav have 7 kids already? A) The women were all blind B) The women wanted the $$.
.... I'll go with B.
Feel free to leave comments.
BN
posted by Becky at 12:21 AM
3 Comments:
The angel in Can't Hardly Wait would be so disappointed :(
They need to make a new Different Strokes and follow Gary Coleman, that guy can kick some ass!
Becky, you missed loveline the one day you were at my house, so you are lying to your audience, I feel so hurt that you would lie to us.....btw, my blog has been updated to
~Frodaddy
This is the most cogent thing you've ever written. Cerealsly
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